The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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