Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
