is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
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A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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