i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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