He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
