Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
