if i can run in heels then i can drive
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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