i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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