Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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