sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
