She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
