living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
