Can Purell be used as lube?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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