Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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