I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
