your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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