i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
