sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
