Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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