i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
