worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
