Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
