apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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