If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
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Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
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I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done