Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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