Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.