So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize