He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
