Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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