Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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