ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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