Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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