Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
