how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
