I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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