hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
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The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
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at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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