oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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