we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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