He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
