Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize