Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
