Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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