Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize