It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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