I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
