First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
