Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize