So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
