She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
