the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My dad just said "fuck circus"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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