I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
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I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
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I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
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