as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize