I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Everclear isn't food dammit
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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