I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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