Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
