i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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