The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
