also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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