If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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