well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
