Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
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There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
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Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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