In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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