I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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